A recent reader wrote to Miss Manners with a dilemma concerning a dinner invitation to her in-laws. After her brother-in-law’s boyfriend, who recently had a major organ transplant, requested specific food accommodations, the reader decided to cancel the dinner, believing it was rude to inconvenience the host. However, Miss Manners disagreed, pointing out that the brother-in-law’s request was likely medically necessary and that cancelling the dinner was insensitive.
Miss Manners emphasized the importance of being considerate of guests with legitimate needs, such as addressing dietary restrictions following a hospitalization. She advised the reader to show compassion and understanding in such situations rather than cancelling the dinner. In this case, the brother-in-law was simply informing the host of his boyfriend’s situation and making a reasonable request.
In conclusion, Miss Manners encouraged the reader to approach the situation with empathy and to address the brother-in-law’s request with understanding. She reminded readers that hosting entails accommodating guests’ needs and preferences, especially when those needs are medically related. Being sensitive to guests’ circumstances is key to being a gracious host. Readers were encouraged to send their own etiquette questions to Miss Manners through various channels, including her website, email, or postal mail.
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